For the 19 people who actually follow my blog, recently I have been posting about how I have come to feel about this new woman in my life.
Last night, we spent our third night together and it was awesome yet terrible at the same time….at this point I think a little back story is in order.
I met her in my Intro to Comparative Politics class last semester. She’s a hottie so naturally I was attracted to her, but I always saw a ring on her left finger; I assumed she was married. (Side Note: I have learned the hard way to always check for signs of a wedding ring before starting to talk to a girl)
Anyways, I was waiting for the campus bus one day, I was all dressed up from a presentation I had in a different class earlier. I ran into her and from the jump, we hit it off and I could tell she was attracted to me. I didnt think much of it, but we agreed to study together for our upcoming final. During this study session, we flirted back and forth and the longer we studied the more intense our flirting got.
One night, during a poker night with friends, my drunk friend got a hold of my phone and started getting quite graphic, funny, and a little sexual with texts to her. She laughed it off, but thought I was funny (Thanks LC!). During the ensuing Christmas Break, we barely txted. She did send me a Merry Christmas one the was personalized. I returned the favor on New Year’s (except I was txting froma strip joint saying she should be here dancing for me) I know…I know…kinda wrong of me, but when I drink a little bit, almost everything becomes a good idea.
We both were backa school a couple weeks later and we grabbed a quick bite to eat. I noticed the ring was gone and halfway through dinner she explained her fiance screwed up and she had called things off. Since then we have been talking, hanging out and every once in a while, spending a night together.
But we havent kissed. She says she still doesnt know how she feels about her ex and doesnt wanna risk things by starting something up with me….even now as I type this up, it sounds like I’m a moron for even messing with this girl….but like I’ve posted before, my instincts/desires/feelings tell me to be close to her.
I get the butterflies, my heart races….maybe its that feeling that attracts me to her….maybe its the same reason I love rollercoasters, bungee jumping, skydiving so much….I crave that rush of feelings….What does this say about me?
Now, I’m still open to any other opportunity that comes my way….I can’t be committed to someone who isn’t committed to me….but, I just want this girl soo much. Last night when she was with me, I just wanted to take her face in my hands and unleash the passion that I have for her….I wanted to show her how much she turns me on….I wanted to kiss every square inch of her body….to press her up against the wall and let her feel how much I want her….even when typing these thoughts, my heart races and butterflies start flying in my stomach…
For the time being though….I’m just being patient.
